GETTING DUMPED – BECOMMING SINGLE

Its happens to us all from time to time and it is the bad part about dating. Getting dumped is about someone who you spent time with who doesn't want a close relationship anymore. On almost all occasions, when you‘ve been dumped, it comes as a surprise, a nasty surprise. Looking back you think to yourself, well I could see that coming really. But at the time, you were not prepared.

On almost every occasion you’ve been dumped, the partner who has dumped you has been thinking of doing it for longer than you imagine. It appears they suddenly dumped you after an argument or some minor incident but actually, they have been playing the scenario out in their heads for quite a while. When partners spontaneously try and dump you, they make a hash of it. It goes wrong. If someone has practiced the scenario they won't be swayed and will try and convince you to see life from their point of view. Which is dreadful.

Being dumped usually happens when you least expect it and its possible that you were almost dumped a week or two earlier when your other half went through the motions but didn't actually quite have the nerve to see things through. It was almost like a Practise session. Then when it finally does come, its gentle and firm and clear. This partner doesn't want to be with you anymore. They are detached when they speak because they need to be. They have to detach themselves from emotion not because they don't have any feelings, but because this is what it takes to walk away.

The partner who is dumping you has temporarily learned to cope with shutting feelings out so that they can deal with saying good-bye. To be honest though, their emotional state may be fraught but it is backed up by a sense of escape and release and so they are feeling very different emotions from you. They are feeling that they need to get this conversation over and done with and want you to accept the situation as gracefully as possible.

Certainly the lover dumping you is being heartless in some ways and they don't have your interests at heart, only their own, which is why they often try and sugar coat the situation by telling you how your future will be so positive without them and how they are a negative influence on you and the worst two of the lot, "you deserve better than me" and "shall we be good friends". Both of those lines are cheap, meaningless and sometimes very shallow. In the same way, telling you that you will continue to "see" your ex and remain good buddies, is utter nonsense. The world has just changed for good.

The first thing that springs to mind when you’ve been dumped is just how ridiculous are the reasons you are given. On almost ALL occasions, they are not telling you the truth. Why? Because ironically they are trying to spare your feelings. Well now, they have just taken away your trust, your faith, your romantic life in its entirety, even your planned future. But they are trying to spare your feelings.

The amount of lies told to you in one 30 minute period will never be as many as when you are being dumped. I hate the leeches who dump you over a dinner date in a restaurant, or at a party so that you can say less. Their hope is damage limitation to try and get away without "having a scene". I remember one girl, Angela, who dumped me by email. That was probably as low as anyone can stoop. I suppose the phone is as bad, or a note, or through a friend. But remember that most people are cowards. I'd always prefer to know the truth.

The one thing that stands out about being dumped more than anything else, is when one receives no explanation. Oh, you may be given one, but be sure that isn't the real reason my friends. No, you will be given the most trivial of reasons, or worse "it's not you, it's me" Which actually means, "its you". They simply won't tell you why though, because they are scared. Now

I can argue this is a positive thing because by being scared of hurting you, there is some semblance of respect still present. And that has to be positive. However there is no future in having any further contact with this person and I firmly recommend when someone walks out of your life, it is for ever. (I know its different if you have children and I won't address that situation here).

Now scientists tell us that when you are dumped you undergo almost exactly the same set of physiological and psychological reactions as bereavement. Clearly if you have been seeing someone for 3 weeks and they decide you are not for them, your feelings are hurt, but nothing more. But, once a relationship has formed and the person walks out of your life then that person may as well have died. Because you will react in the same way.

What I mean but the is is that it is entirely correct and fitting that you want to lock yourself away for a while, to undergo a period of mourning. You have to come to terms with what has happened and that the relationship is finally over. This in fact can take months or years. Your friends will provide you with a support infrastructure and whilst they are well meaning and want you to return to your positive self, be prepared for it taking some time.

You could start dating again but these dates won't lead to anything immediately, not until you are psychologically ready. Personally and privately, I believe that it is only when you are angry with the person who dumped you, even to the point of hating them, before you can get over them. You may think that's too strong, but out of anger often comes clarity of mind. Still loving them is not the way forward. In years to come you may respect them and love their memory, but certainly not now no.

When someone dumps you, they generally mean it and it has taken them a lot of thinking to go through with it. So do not hope they will change their mind, they won't. You will feel betrayed and deceived and you are right. They played with your feelings. But then everyone has a right to leave and no one has the right to stay imprisoned in a relationship they don't want. So it is your own acceptance of the situation that is the most important thing here.

In fact you are the most important thing in the equation. The person who just dumped you no longer matters. Life becomes about you again and what you want. You are the director of your own movie , your life, so you hire and fire the cast and crew as you like. If they dumped you, mentally dump them too. But don't dwell on revenge as down that path lays madness awaiting.

No, you do need to move on, but only when you are ready and only down the path you choose.
Getting some revenge is an immediate afterthought, because you want to feel the satisfaction of getting even. Of hurting them like they hurt you. But all you do if you publicly display revenge, is look somewhat pathetic. I do not advocate revenge in that way. The best way for any revenge is to get even in a constructive way that leaves your dumper looking like the fool. I remember being dumped by an ex, only to leave the city and get a glamorous job abroad a few weeks later and letting her know it.

That gave me the satisfaction of knowing we were even. Life moved on.
Being dumped is an awkward mess that hurts us and cannot be trivialized. It means that the person we entrusted with our souls has turned round and said they don't want it. It makes us feel cheap and worthless and unwanted. We don't want other fish in the sea, we wanted them. But its too late, its over.

Here are some tips I think are essential when getting dumped:
Don't believe the reasons you are given when you are dumped as you may be being lied toIf you spot a trial run, you may be dumped within days so anticipate it
Don't dump them first because you thought you spotted a trial run though !
Allow the person to say why your relationship has ended but give them little in return.
They want you to forgive them and tell them its all right. It isn't so don't let them off the hook whatsoever.
Never.
Allow yourself a mourning period of however long it takes
Don't start dating immediately, not until you are ready
Do realize that seeing other people though, will make things easier
Don't hope that your ex will return, its highly unlikely
Start thinking about yourself as number 1 priority and spoil yourselfDo not keep hold of any joint possessions or mementos. The relationship is over and mementos will hurt you.
Throw all their things away and put photos in a box
Never hang out where you may meet you ex. Talking things over doesn't work.
If they want you they will come crawling back
If you accept your ex back again you are playing with fire. Better to say good-bye once and for all. You deserve better
Remember that the person who dumped you has lost you and will not meet anyone like you again. Their loss.
Allow yourself to be angry with the person who dumped you and mentally dump them too

Finally, when all is said and done, it is sometimes better to change jobs and even move location to forget someone. You can argue well why should I, but let's be realistic, it may be the only answer. We are talking about your life here, not someone elses'. You deserve better because you are worth it.

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FIRST LOVE

Are we searching for Miss. Right or Mr. Right or have we already met them before? Did your Mr. Right once exist in your former life? Were they childhood sweethearts?

First love isn’t a new topic but I realized that first love is an emotionally potent one. With this in mind I realized that first love must have a much greater effect on the way we handle our love lives that we perhaps want to admit. Until we first fall in love we are in effect emotional virgins. True romance has yet to touch us. We assume we know a great deal about life already and we assume we feel the same way that everyone else does, but we do not. Only those who have been in love that first time know the world has far more to it than meets the eye.

Like death of an adult or parent or someone we love we can never be prepared and first love for many of us is a happy experience tinged with lifelong sadness and oddly, an element of grief. Because unless we marry our childhood sweetheart, our very first Mr. Right and live happily ever after, most of us will go on from our first love to be single again and learn from the experience.I am not speaking here of first dates, first kiss or first sex. I am speaking earnestly about one’s first true love, the person you first fall madly in love with and cannot live without. It could be a childhood sweetheart but it doesn't have to be.

Childhood sweethearts have a huge influence though and mustn't be underestimated in the legacy they leave. However I accept here that childhood sweetheart is too specific. Personally speaking, I was always kind of jealous of those who had childhood sweethearts as that was how it was supposed to be.First love is the first time we learn to deal with pangs of angst, stomach churning adoration, lust, love, anxiety, salty tears that know no end. It’s the first time you learn what a deep communication with another person out-with your immediate family can be like on both a spiritual and physical level. You cannot live without them, you feel alive like never before, you exist wholly for another human being. It is fantastic, it is unbelievable, it’s the best thing in the world and it becomes your life, she becomes your life, he becomes your life. And it ends. In an instant the best thing that ever happened to you …stops.

I may overplay this scenario and of course it doesn’t happen to everyone, but amazingly, most of us have had some kind of experience like this. If we haven’t then we will so be warned. I say this because this may just be the thing that governs who we are. For many of us, our first great love occurs sometime between 16 to 21 years of age when we are still young and fresh and optimistic and ready for life. In that moment we are most open to experience and we are also at our most vulnerable. In this moment we may love like we may never love again, at least for quite a while.

During that time of first true love we open up ourselves to everything that love can bring us, elation, defeat, passion, sincerity, communication and contact, all on levels we had never experienced before. Our minds store away every small detail as part of our vertical new learning in love and romance and we cannot get enough. But the issue is that it gets taken away. It may be we are making a wise decision, maybe it is we who decides too much too young. It may not be our choice and our eternally loved partner walks away leaving us with life long questions that may never be answered. But whatever happens and however the end of our first love occurs, it will and does leave a legacy whether we like it or not.

Okay I hear you ask, what legacy, or is my legacy the same as your legacy? Well no, we are all different. First love in many people often leaves us with lifelong happy memories that are tied in with other close friends, with college and school, with times and places and particularly summers. For others, first love is a series of memories of regret, bad decisions and choices from which they have learned and become stronger hopefully. For everyone who has grown older with the legacy of a first love, future dating decisions are often too closely related to that first true love experience.

The first legacy is often physical. We want to recapture the feelings of being with our first love, our childhood sweethearts, our Mr. Right or Miss Right, and the easiest way for our brains to do that is to find someone who looks like them. How often have you seen a friend with someone who looks like their first love. Amazingly when I thought about this there were quite a few people I knew who were dating the image of their childhood sweethearts. So we find comfort in being with someone who resembles our first love.

Next, we find that we are left with a legacy of the need to recreate a sense of love we have had time to heighten. What this really means is that if we have already experienced true love once, we want it again.

a little, but the same or more even, just like the first time. Secretly, we crave it. Now this is a serious legacy from our past romance because what this really means is that we may not be satisfied by many relationships that come our way afterwards. Every time we date we want it to be like the first time, full of new experience, full of innocent love, with no preconditions. Yes we already now have preconditions because we have learned from our first love. We have set a base line for the presence of love. Next this means that we will be tough in our romantic and dating decisions. Subconsciously we relate our first love to the perfect feeling of being in love and as such we crave it.

We need and want love and that overwhelming wave of romance to be as powerful and magical as it was the first time and if it doesn’t come and come quickly, then the person we date will be penalized for this. We won’t want to date people who appear to be dissimilar to the person who showed us love; we avoid selecting people who don’t show such heightened potential in the early days of meeting. In other words, new dates are not reaching a perilously high love base line we have set and it may be that no one can. We want to date our childhood sweethearts a second time.Next, the first love legacy means that we may punish those from who we don’t receive the same amazing love feelings by letting them go and continuing our search. In the end it can mean that we have set our sights so high that finding comparable love and happiness becomes difficult. Date after date we are looking for something we cannot find.

I often here people say, “I don’t know what it is I am searching for but it’s inside me but I just can’t find it but I will know it when I see (feel) it”. In other words, they know what love feels like and want it again, but until it comes instantly they won’t accept, “I will not make do”, they say. And dating becomes difficult.Of course what we forget is that our first love, our Mr. Right, is probably now some years older, a different person, maybe even looks different. That moment has gone now. It has been lost in time, and only lives on inside of us. I think it can be a good thing if we control it and let it be part of us but not take over. It governs some of the choices of who we are and who we wish to date, it guides and helps us in some ways because it clarifies what we know allows us to be happy.

Even better is that it reminds us that true love can and does exist but that we are on a search to find it once again.To find true love in first love is an amazing thing and many say that to find that twice in a lifetime is impossible. I disagree, I think as long as we accept that we must not try and recreate our first love, we are simply clear minded healthy people who know what we are about and are wise in knowing the experience of love, both good and bad. We should remember not to let this affect the potential of future even more powerful relationships than any that came before. Your Mr. Right, is somewhere waiting, just don't let him be the one in the past.

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RIDICULOUS DATES

I was thinking the other day that I have been on some ridiculous dates in my time. Some have been a waste of my time and some have been utter fiasco's that barely require repeating. I got wondering as to how they happened in the first place and my answer was that I had let my guard down and had began to date people who weren't really compatible at all. Maybe it was because of recent abstinence from sex, or perhaps due to a need for company and affection - but in these circumstances I find myself agreeing to all sorts of idiocy.Be assured that when you are dating you will meet your fair share of eccentrics, wasters and fools.

You will meet those who will simply waste your time, show you little respect or have no idea why they are there. You will meet those who will make excuses and leave and a few who will not turn up at all. And on almost all occasions you do well to realize that it has very little to do with you. It takes all kinds to make a world and you will meet all kinds when you are dating.The thing to remember when dating is that you are almost certain not going to hit the jackpot first time. It does happen occasionally particularly when younger (but for other reasons); but as we grow older we have harder criteria to meet and match with. Dating is a lottery, that's for sure. People will date you to see whether they can date you.

They don't really want it to go anywhere, they simply want the sense of achievement from you saying yes. And that applies to men and to women.I have met some real losers in my time. People who hadn't got a clue what they were doing. People who had probably last been to dinner when the menu was written in Latin. I have met the socially inept, the downright arrogant, the rude and vicious, the loud and raucous and the occasional stalker. And looking back I probably wouldn't have changed a thing except to say that I wish they hadn't cost me so much money and wasted so much of my time.

The real ridiculous losers who I wish I had never dated are the ones who wasted more of my time that I can remember. The ones who kept me hanging on whilst they sorted out their own frail mental well-being. The ones who were 'confused' about their feelings and weren't sure if they could commit. Oh please. The most ridiculous people I have dated though without a doubt were the people who told lies and thought I would be too stupid to spot them.Here is a lovely list of some ridiculous dating scenarios I have encountered over the years. I am sure yours are better or similar to mine but it just goes to show my friends that we are not alone! I have not included names to spare the not-so-innocent but you know who you are.·

A girl I met in New York and temporarily dated for a few weeks decided to spend three months phoning me every day when I was in Toronto. As she was a great girl I was extremely flattered but very wary as she had not been able to give any commitment previously. Anyway after being harangued for three months I relented and agreed to a romantic weekend back in Manhattan with her as she lived in New Jersey. She duly arranged my flights via Pittsburgh to La Guardia and booked me into the Grand Hyatt on 42nd Street for 3 nights. On landing I phoned her on a her cell phone to see where we would be meeting and she said that this weekend was not so good as she was busy ! She said she may be able to meet for dinner on Sunday evening! Today was Friday.

So I spent three solitary days in New York by myself seeing the sights and walking for miles. I never did get an explanation but lets just say that I decided she was insane.· I met a very excitable girl on a dating site who seemed to be really lovely. After a couple of weeks of chatting I agreed to get the train to London where we could meet for dinner. As I was pulling into the station after a 6 hours journey beginning at 5am my phone rang. The girl asked if I had arrived and we had a short chat. On arriving at my hotel the girl called again to say that she wouldn't be meeting me as she had heard an echo on my phone and believed that I was a married man calling from my London apartment and disguising the fact that I was married !!

This was based on no evidence whatsoever. After reasoning with her she did turn up to meet me in a bar. Well I presume she did as I had long since gone home. Ridiculous.· When living in Hong Kong I dated a very lovely local girl from Kowloon for a couple of weeks and we danced and dined out and laughed and went sightseeing. We never kissed or touched as is the Chinese way and kept things on a platonic level. One night in a thunderstorm on the Peak above central Hong Kong we kissed for the first time and she announced that she had decided that we would be married and that she intended to see me every day from now on. Without asking she attempted to move into my room, brought her things and refused to leave. What began as a kiss within hours turned into a comic case of stalking unparalleled in my experience.


The phone had to be kept off and my movements varied. Weeks later I left Hong Kong and never went back. Be careful who you kiss!· I remember dating a girl who believed she was the worlds greatest liar. She would come out with lots of amazing stories about who she had been with and where and it was clear every time that they were made up. In fact it was so obvious that she was lying that even her friends would cringe. She would always get very angry if any questions were asked but the ridiculous thing was that she really did think I believed her. In fact she was so much of a liar that to this day it is impossible to speak to her due to still trying to convince me of untruths.You could make up excuses for these kinds of behavior but its always best just to smile and put it down to experience.

Life isn't so serious when dating and most of the people you meet are lovely. It is the eccentricities of people that make me laugh. But the ones that hurt are the ones where people tell lies to fool you. Like the girl I dated who went to visit her sister in Barcelona. She told me it was for a few weeks and each week would say she would be back shortly. After three months she had not returned and it transpired that she was now actually living in Barcelona and dating a guy from the US. However she found it easier to keep me hanging on than tell the truth. These are the people we can do without.Be Cautious as Follows:· Don't put yourself out on a limb for a new date· Don't travel unnecessarily unless you are sure· Don't believe everything you are told initially· Don't trust everything you perceive at first· Women can be as manipulative as men can be· Do laugh about your dating mishaps later·

Have a sense of humor when dating· Try and be philosophical about the ridiculous nature of events· Don't spend too much money when dating initially· Don't expect too much when dating a lot, just relax· Put life and people down to experience· You will kiss a few frogs before you find a prince· Make sure you are prepared for what you are getting into· Always get photos of people you met on the Internet first· Don't let people waste your time and never be too accommodating· If people have wasted your time don't give a second chance and walk away

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DATE TO MAKE FRIENDS

Dating is one of the best friend finders there is. I read recently some advice from an elder statesman who said that we should all try and make one new friend every five years. What excellent advice. When we are very young we collect friends like sweets. As we get older we lose some along the way kind of like natural wastage. We fall out and we fall in, we change and adapt and we end up with a core group of our best friends, usually quite small but reliable and close. I think it’s fair to say that most of us will never have more than a handful of extremely close friends as we grow older simply because it’s not possible to have very close relationships with so many people. Best friends require maintenance.

Where dating comes into its own is in its simplest form - introducing us to new people. We meet people on a one-to-one basis to chat and discuss and basically find out if we get on well enough to become friends. Dating often misses out on this aspect, the fact that to become lovers we should become friends too. It's not just about if we are attracted to their hair, face, breasts, legs etc. It's about how we get on, what we have in common, if we share the same belief systems, skills, laughs, humor, outlook, background and passions. If we do then this may well be the very basis for a great relationship.

If that certain X factor is missing, we often discount the whole date as if to say well they weren't good enough to date so I will discount them completely. What we are missing here is the fact that in every other way we got on. We made a new friend. Then people will say, yes but I am not looking for another friend. Well let me tell you my friend, we can all do with extra friends. Yes, okay, our closest friends are often our longest friends who we have shared everything with, but there may have been a time when we didn't know them either so who is to say. My point is that nice people are hard to find so let us not just discount people because they fell at the first hurdle.I am not suggesting that we gather every failed date as out next new closest buddy. I am suggesting that amongst all the singles you do date, there will be one of two people who may not be your ideal match, but who could be your ideal friend.

So try and keep an open mind. Maybe you can suggest that although you don't feel you would make it as a couple you would like to stay in touch and then actually do get in touch to do something. Make sure you have defined this as a fact and are clear though and don't string someone along and have them thinking there is some romance in the air.We must try and remember that one of the best facets of any perfect match is friendship. People often say that they would like to marry their best friend. In other words, your partner should also be your best friend. What we mean but that is that the concept of "best friend" means the person we can rely on, trust in full measure, turn to when in need and talk to about everything in the world. It is a beautiful notion and one that should be kept in mind.Really, dating is all about making friends and then loving them even more than that. It is about forming close bonds in a fairly short space of time and then building upon them.

This is why a purely sex or physical relationship doesn't often hold much long terms hope. It is surprising how many good friends also become lovers too. I have read some good true stories about people who had been best friends and went on to get married.I think these days that dating has become such a clinical and organized subject that the basic elements are in danger of being lost. To love someone you have to trust them. To trust them you need to open your heart to them very early on and take the risk included.

Opening your heart means a willingness to trust. It is a willingness to make that person your friend. Trust and friendship are the building blocks of every proper relationship and therefore there are no quick paths to eternal happiness. Date and find a friend. Make friends and then fall in love.

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Offbeat Ways to Meet Guys: Dating Tips for Singles

Tired of haunting the bars and singles socials? Finally convinced that Mr. Right is not going to turn up in the produce aisle at the supermarket? It may be time to try some radical new methods for meeting some radical new people.

Single Dating Tip 1: Take a Cruise
Sign up to see the magic of the Caribbean, the mystery of the Mediterranean, or the beauty of Alaska. Cruises offer all kinds activities and tours that give you an opportunity to meet and enjoy the company of people from all over the world. Even if you don't find The One, you'll still have a great time and come home with lots of stories to tell on dates.

Single Dating Tip 2: Get Involved Politically
The personal is political, so get involved stumping for your favorite cause or politician. This not only gives you a chance to take part in something important to you, it also provides the perfect opportunity to meet someone who shares your values and idealism. And what could be cozier than curling up together on a cold night in November to watch election returns?

Single Dating Tip 3: Try Speed Dating
Speed dating originated among the Jewish community on the East coast but it spread swiftly throughout the United States. At a speed dating event, you are assigned a number. Then you and a man meet and converse for anywhere between three and eight minutes. When the time is up, you move onto another man. At the end of the evening, you write down the numbers of the men who caught your eye. If they've also written down your number, it's a match.

Single Dating Tip 4: Become an Athlete
Take up an athletic event like rock climbing, tennis, swimming, cycling, or marathon running. This will open the door to meeting cute, highly-toned guys who will be delighted to show you the ropes…or rub that pesky cramp out of your thigh. And even if you don't meet the perfect man on your cycling team, just think how great you'll look when you get in shape.

Single Dating Tip 5: Unleash Your Inner Thespian
Volunteer for your community theater. If you're not an actress, there are still many things you can do to help. You might create costumes, work on building or locating props, or take notes for the director, for instance. Besides letting your imagination run wild, you'll get to meet men who aren't afraid to let their creative side shine through. (And no, they're not all gay.)Meeting the right guy can be a challenge, but if you think outside the box and try some of these single dating tips, you can improve your chances of finding a person with whom to build a relationship.

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First Dating Tip: How to Have Fun on a Big Date

Okay, the guy you've been crushing on forever just called and asked you out. You want the night to be perfect. Follow these first dating tips to have a wonderful, safe time.

First Dating Tip1: Clarify the Details
When you hear the words "big date," you may be thinking formal gowns and tuxedos. Your guy may be thinking dinner and a movie. So clarify what you're going to do and what kind of dress code is expected.

First Dating Tip 2: It's All in the Attitude
Many girls would do anything to snag that first date, even agree to go rock climbing when their idea of a hard workout is changing the channel on the television set. These dates often end with everyone in a bad mood. If you've agreed to an activity you don't really like, be a good sport about it. You might have fun. At the very least, you can get to a second date by saying, "Next time we'll have to try something I'm good at."

First Dating Tip 3: Communicate
Girls tend to get chatty when they're nervous; guys tend to clam up. Girls usually spill their deepest secrets in fifteen seconds or less; guys may never spill them at all. On the first date, keep the conversation light. Try to make sure you each do about 50% of the talking. If he's playing the strong, silent type, try to get him speaking by asking about his interests. Use open ended questions. "Did you like the movie?" can be answered with a yes or a no. "What did you like best about the movie?" requires a little more speech.

First Dating Tip 4: Stay Sober
Sure, alcohol lubricates the tongue, but a lubricated tongue can say things that make you want to curl up and die when you think back on them the next morning. More importantly, being sober can keep you safe. Up to 90% of date rapes occur when one or more parties have been drinking.

First Dating Tip5: Follow Up
If you had a nice time, do something the next day to let the guy know. E-mail him, text message him, phone him, or send him a nice note. Thank him for a nice time and suggest another activity you could do together. (For instance: "Loved watching the football game with you. Are you up for basketball next week?") Guys often aren't sure what to do after a first date, and this kind of follow up points him in the right direction.

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Romance has Gone Technological: SMS Flirt

Whether you are in a new or in an established relationship, in this technological age, chances are both of you have a cell phone. Cell phones are used for keeping in touch, so why not use the SMS feature on your cell phone for a little SMS flirting?
SMS Flirt With Your Long-Distance Sweetie

It has become more and more frequent for busy couples to have long-distance relationships with their girlfriends or boyfriends. These couples often don’t get to see each other for months at a time, and so they have to think of ways to keep their relationship exciting.

This is where SMS flirting comes in. Sometimes people don’t have enough time for a proper phone call, but they still want to express how they feel. With SMS flirting, you can leave a quick message, and you loved one can receive it quickly in between a busy day of meetings.

SMS Flirt “Just Because”

Sometime, people like to SMS flirt just because it is a fun alternative to having an actual phone conversation. With many different kinds of phones, a private conversation can easily be heard by those around you. Whereas, with SMS flirting, you can text whatever romantic thing you would like to say discreetly.

Things to Say When You SMS Flirt

The fun thing about SMS flirting is that there are so many ways to do so. You can just go by symbols, and make a happy face or a heart. Or, you can text simple phrases like “Hey Cutie,” or “Can’t wait to see you babe.”

To be really thoughtful and flirty, think of a private joke between you and your significant other, and just text one word that the person would, right away, know what that word was referring to. Or, text the date of an especially memorable time you two spent together, and follow it with a happy face. Either of these ideas are sure to make your significant other’s day!

So, if you think you might try SMS flirting, just be sure that your cell phone plan includes text messaging. Also, check to make sure that your significant other’s cell phone accepts text messages too! Whether it is for couples that are often apart, or those couples that just like to feel connected while they are away from each other for a short time, SMS flirting is fun!

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OUR DATING REGRETS

I decided to take a survey of good single friends and find out what kind of regrets single men and single women had when dating. Dating Regrets took on many different forms in their varied answers but I thought it was interesting to ask because it often highlights dating issues we often forget to mention.

As with many of my surveys, the results are haphazard but are useful in pointing out that no single men or single women are alone in the mistakes that occur in our dating lives.Here follows are a mind boggling catalogue of dating disasters that we singles should bear in mind as lessons learned.

1. In top spot - dating a married person. Man or woman, it makes no difference. In every version the story was the same, dating a married person was a complete disaster. Not withstanding the lies, deceit, regret, cheating and false promises, on NO occasion did anyone I asked have a good outcome for their married affairs. This was one good example of how to waste your years waiting for someone who will never leave; sharing your loved one with someone else and spending thousands of dollars on stolen moments and brief weekends where you were not the only person on their mind. Avoid like the plague unless you want to lose all the dignity you ever had.

2. Amazingly not marrying your childhood sweetheart was number 2. It appears there are a lot of single people who have spent years wishing they had married the person of their dreams when they had the chance. Unfortunately this often tends to be your childhood sweetheart or first love at college. At the time you are too young and there are too many other fish in the sea. In later years you have used them as a bench mark of the minimal level of romance required for potential partners and never quite match it. This leads to a feeling of making do with second best. In turn you start hankering for the girl or boy from all those years ago.

3. Not asking someone out on a date when the offer was there. This is a biggie because we are dealing with the eternal niggling "what if.." question. This tends to come out as a regret at a time when other things are not going well and you find yourself fantasizing. What if you had asked him out. What if you had said yes to that date. What if you had got married and had children. It seems that not asking someone out can leave a long term legacy. Just look at the popularity of reunion sites on the Internet just now.

4. Not ending a bad relationship earlier. Yes lot of us listed this one. There are many of us who have entered into a relationship willingly only to discover to our cost that the relationship wasn't all it could be. Whilst the door was only over there we chose for many a reason not to walk out of it. Whilst perhaps a worthy concept in itself it does none of us a service. The fact is, too many of us have stayed in long term relationships that were not good for ourselves and our partners. If only we had had the courage at the time.

5. Dating the wrong person for the wrong reasons. Maybe for sex, for appearance, for contacts, for business reasons or even out of sympathy. It appears that there are plenty of people out there who have dated people for the wrong reasons and lived to regret it. This has to be balanced against hindsight. Looking back it is obvious which people we perhaps should never have dated but there are plenty of us who dated the wrong person at the time and knew we were doing it. No excuse.

6. Putting your career first and waiting too long. Oh yes, this is a modern classic. Our current society has a problem in that a third of all adults are now single - and growing. The most commonly sited reason is that we put our career first, especially through out 20's and then begin seriously dating in our 30's when we feel ready. The problem is that we are not as young as we were, not as attractive as when we were 21 in many cases, our body clocks are ticking at a deafening volume and all the best catches have been snapped up. A great many of us appear to be wishing we had sorted out our love lives earlier. Be warned.

7. Leaving someone you were in love with. I don't have the answers but it cropped up quite a few times in my survey and could be tied in with point 2. People in love have left and seem to struggle to find an explanation. All too often the decision was regretted very quickly only to find that the rejected partner had closed and bolted the door and you were never going to be allowed back. Infidelity is the primary cause, or more to the point, getting caught. If you love someone stay with them faithfully appears to be the lesson here.

8. Not being the nice person you could have been. Treating someone badly in a relationship always comes back to haunt you if you are the guilty party, however empowering it may have felt at the time. As we grow older we list mentally those we could have been nicer too and I am amazed how many of us confess we could have been nicer people to our lovers. I am not talking about physical violence though we all accept that it does exist within our society. No I simply mean being courteous, kind, remembering birthdays and anniversaries, buying flowers, compromising, going on holidays and being romantic and spontaneous. We live and learn and later regret is clearly the message.

9. Dumping someone in a callous and bad way. I have done it and I have had it done to me and I regret both happening. When young it was easy to love and leave and I never thought anything of it. As I grew older I had it done to me by someone I loved and it broke my heart. I don't think we every do get over being left in a bad way - no explanation, no reasons given. One day it's fine, the next day you're gone. Dumping via email, texting or phone should be made cardinal sins and it appears from my survey that many of us regret doing just that.

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